What Do I Want Exactly?

by Jacob Daniel Levesque Baird

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1.
In some tracks, most of what's going on Is just other peoples instruments and samples, loosely arranged together. Sounds a bit fucking lazy to me. How does some of this even count, as your album? It's other peoples stuff for fuck sake. In a state of utter confusion To wanting to slit my fucking face open Feel like it will bring me back But I don't need to feel uglier than I already do
2.
Man, look at all these pre-war dollars that I got. That's not very impressive.
3.
Have me Runnin' with the bruisers Jettin' with the brawlers Distendin' with the creepers Psycho with the scrappers Axin' with the trackers Three bags o' yeast Six fission batteries Twenny wil' punga Or ten church ones Fix up the still For two hundred if i 'lingus Doc says no orange fever But i still feed 'er
4.
Who's that Where you been man How longs it been man Like seven seconds But last time you were a chick The time before Richard, not dick You're always creeping So i creep too We're hunching in circles dude You make me shut doors Make you think I'm busy in the kitchen How old are you girl Seventeen or forty Eighteen or seventy Regardless you have agility High jump to one corner Long jump to the next Pole vault outside Then into bed At the window when I'm out Breaking windows when I'm a minute out The technical prowess is priceless The millionth fucking genius Pressing god damn anything Taking god damn everything Clean up those fucking tuna cans
5.
6.
The woman stares dead Right into the blue Her own connections Her own ideas Her own suspicions Simple enough for my premonitions My own connections My own ideas My own suspicions I foresee an ugly future In the next thirty minutes But i also foresee Probable peace Probable peace in which I jitter Probable peace in which I shake Probable peace in which I lie awake Dil one seven Dil two two Dill three seven Dil one seven Dil two two Dill three seven Ep x8 Create your flow from sustainibly History run vehicles Smart pro Drew No drew? Deek No deek? Ache Eleven o'clock Thank you Run in, in anger Wielding more than hands Under my desk I hide Just to die That day at the festival Fireworks did nothing at al Dragged my shoes on the ground So I could begin to feel rewound That day at the festival We rushed down the hill After it all It took me a while To return to what was Then found myself angry at my coke cup I went and saw Saw the four story fur The rest of the coat Graphed me fine So I steered clear of the streets Stuck inside for 'only' a week I never fully came back Saint Plex tried to get me on my feet again Now im boxed in never to feel like me again Shave me hair before I rip it out Lose the jewels before I tear them out Listen before I drop at my desk Blue home before my eyes fall out A coma in my ears A relation in my mind Italian furniture in one hand Tiles in the other Fines in my brain Neglecting my friends Neglecting my health To often I feel the shit earl says A meter away from myself Hands and face blurred Watering my garden to try make it right again But the container crawling hype brings a drought Been zipping early morning afternoon Man in front tells me bout the Sunday racket Otherwise ima click click slide down a flight Wanna rush to brotz and peel my nose skin back
7.
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Dunayivtsi 00:28
9.
Gurdeep's a drivin' That boy's a wilin' We are all frightened Time to stop Gurdeep's a drivin' He's reading the paper Wrong side of the road Time to stop Gurdeep's a followin' (us) We are reporting To the cops Time to stop
10.
Just start another project man Do another cool noise project Just don't even finish the crap E.P you planned for it Get a shit single out and pretend you're gonna do more Just chuck it up on bandcamp and post it in a thousand groups You fucking loser
11.
Jim's Ditty 03:06
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Sertraline 02:49
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18.
What 04:13
Ima jump head first off this desk Make sure I fucking break something Interact with trees at high speeds Poison myself with comics Or I Keep my mouth shut And my stomach empty In a teary starvation rut Maybe I'll be home one day Tryna smash my front door but Ghostly hands can't do shit Low energy, weak bitch Grasping at the shortest straws on the field Fall through the floor into fantasy football But I don't have cards to trade Or a team, or a play Get so scared, I begin to vibrate through this chair Clenching and grasping The old way is coming Seeing double Hope I don't piss my pants Or rattle my brain So I avoid a brain damage anger fit Then become a millionaire And shove stem cells in every gap But before then I have to come on back And feel all my nerves like I used to And have rings like I used to Before I decide to just fucking quit
19.
Sound Advice 01:28
Eat better Sleep better Ice cold water in winter I'm too tired for this shit
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21.
I wish I wasn't used to feeling pathetic Stomach eating me alive Hair too long Won't answer the phone Weak ass door mat Try my best to say no I wish I wasn't used to feeling pathetic Just stand there and smell bad Same clothes on for three days Same face on for three days Because I don't see people much these days I wish I wasn't used to feeling pathetic Gotta mumble cause I can't rap Gotta scream cause I can't sing Just read off my phone, full monotone Get meta cause it's all I know I wish I wasn't used to feeling pathetic Is this really music? Sometimes I guess Feels like I fill a lack of skill with random shit Not really even sure if I'm proud of it But I still tell myself "there's no rules to this" I wish I wasn't used to feeling pathetic Is this an inferiority complex? Is it as bad as I think it is? Am I a victim to my own bullshit? Do I really not know what's going on? Or do I say that to escape responsibilities I wish I wasn't used to feeling pathetic Does it make it okay to be aware that this is melodramatic? Is it too harsh to call myself talentless? At this point I'm confused about being confused Or am I? I don't know anymore

about

I have no desire to write a whole lot about this album. It was recorded between the 23rd November 2017 - Mid July 2018. Parts of it have no meaning, parts of it have a lot of meaning. Listen with headphones. Enjoy.

TDT189

credits

released July 16, 2018

All the credits are in the track information.

Thank you very much to everybody that contributed.

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all rights reserved

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about

The Dark Thursday Auckland, New Zealand

A net label run by Jacob Daniel Levesque Baird for releasing my music and music submitted to me.

The Dark Thursday is now closed permanently.

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